From a male perspective: link below
My motto to practicing compassionate boundaries w my ex and stop overfunction was “trust that he can and will be able to handle his own emotions and step up and if he can’t or won’t, it’s not a relationship you need to keep afloat, let the relation-ship sink” (easy to say, hard to feel the truth of that devastation that he could not and would not see his mistreatment let alone put a stop to it/amend it.) and then last year when I chose to set the record straight, get back inline with the truth of what happened, and help others understand the nuances and how they play out by sharing details instead of blanket statement pop-therapy and vague psychology these first few lines in his article were my exact mantras bc I’d been the calm peacemaker too long (which is good sometimes until it’s not;) and it was perpetuating this entire pattern and programming but in order to take accountability for my part in that to had to risk demolishing my current ego/reputation and stories so that my character values and integrity could be honored.
Some still do not get that.
Some shamed me (knowing or unknowingly bc they’re steeped in the misogyny and don’t understand concepts like grief and how to hold space for it and #victimblaming and how not to, which I also understand bc I used to be there too but I did a ton of hard work and healed those false stories.)
Some still think I’m lying or twisting the truth or making a person out to be someone they’re not when I’m actually finally setting the images aside and UNtwisting it all so I get why it looks twisted now.
Some still think_________ insert whatever their projection or assumption or misunderstanding that fits best for them rather than challenging it and seeking to understand a new perspective or scary truth
And
I understand … for so many reasons we do this
And
It hurts and sucks and feels like a futile conversation to keep addressing sometimes
And it’s definitely ok to takes breaks (and go to Europe and play;)
But ultimately I’m too passionate about dismantling this abusive system and language and stories in all its many guises to ever stop talking about these subjects… until it shifts or more ppl start to see, amend their behaviors, become educated, change, and clean up the messes they’ve left in ppls lives and hearts and heads and bodies.
Thank you to those who are adding their voices where they can
And supporting mine 🥹🥲🫶
And to those who can’t or won’t
For whatever reasons
Be it truly needing safety from harm
Or
Being ignorant and close minded or blind for whatever reasons, be it trauma or biases
Or
Simply being cowardly
I send you all love and whatever you need to heal whatever needs healing. ❤️🩹
Read A MAN’s take on it
PS I teach this
Then I lived it
So now I embody it
Reach out if you wanna
PPS it’s Leo season betches - rawr 🦁
Comments