Emotions are not psychotic - the lack of them might be tho

Nuances below: What is one form of emotional abuse?

“Forcing people to walk on eggshells around you because you’re in a bad mood isn’t just inconsiderate...it’s emotionally abusive. It’s unfair to create an environment where others feel like they have to constantly monitor their words, their tone, their actions… just to avoid setting you off. It’s exhausting to love someone who makes peace feel conditional, who turns the whole atmosphere tense just because they’re upset, and expects everyone else to shrink themselves to accommodate their emotions.

Being human means we all have bad days. We all get frustrated, stressed, overwhelmed. But it’s not okay to weaponize those emotions, to take them out on the people who care about you, to demand silence and compliance so you don’t have to confront your own mood. You can be upset without being cruel. You can be hurt without being harmful. You can be angry without making everyone else suffer for it.

People deserve to feel safe around you, even when you’re struggling. They deserve to exist without fear of being snapped at, ignored, belittled, or blamed for things they didn’t do. Love isn’t about control. It’s not about making people tiptoe around your emotional landmines. It’s about sharing space in a way that honors both your feelings and theirs.

If you find yourself making others uneasy every time you’re unhappy, that’s not strength...it’s emotional manipulation. And if you’ve been on the receiving end of that kind of behavior, know this: it’s not your job to keep the peace by sacrificing your own comfort. It’s not your responsibility to constantly “read the room” to avoid upsetting someone who refuses to manage their own emotions.

You deserve relationships where you can breathe freely. Where love doesn’t come with tension. Where your presence doesn’t feel like a burden or a balancing act. Never let someone’s unpredictable moods make you question your worth, your kindness, or your right to peace. “

NUANCES:

This is not about grief - when someone is processing trauma etc they need extra compassion - space to be in “bad moods” BUT that doesn’t mean you can’t have boundaries and express your availability.

ALSO

No one is “forced” to walk on eggshells but often we are coerced and manipulated and gaslit to believe we must for various reasons.

And

Yes this slide is not “just men” - women do it too - even to other women - but it is generally men. #misogyny

And a lot of ppl think sharing emotions IS the maniplulation and it CAN be if taken to the other extreme but for the most part - being vulnerable and saying what hurts is just good communication and conflict resolution instead of avoidance masquerading as peace.

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And did you know BY DEFINITION that one marker of psychopaths is being disconnected from their emotions? And/or shame ie they can hurt someone and feel little to no remorse or justify their behavior with logic and completely shut out the intuitive emotional portion? If you are a deeply feeling person this seems crazy right? Right. Bc that’s literally what it is - a disconnection from wholeness is literally the definition of insanity.

We all have it to varying degrees - in yoga it is called #avidya a forgetting of who we are aka god sourced divinity in human form.

#vidya and connection restores this truth.

Some of us have it to degrees where we can do things like be this way - emotionally abusive and then on top of it add psychologically abusive by telling others they are misperceiving it when the truth is THEY are the ones in misperception.

And while it’s understandable why they have that skewed view, it does NOT erase the actuality of their impact AND it’s not an excuse for harming others and owning it and amending the harms.

(Please stop making excusess for ppl who are emotionally and psychologically abusive)

Others of us have it to the degree that we think we don’t have a right to speak up about this mistreatment - that’s the insanity I walked through these past few years and learned not only do I have a right but a response-ability to do this work and help others unravel from it too.

AND STILL SOME WILL DO THE MOST SINISTER MANIPULATION by showing and acting like they care, even crying, to disguise the deeper truth which is that they don’t feel what’s called “affective empathy” but can understand it coginitively so can seem like they care but only to further lure you in, gain your trust, then slowly switch - showing you they in fact don’t care - AND when you call it out they manipulate you to feel bad for them by seemingly showing remorse - grooming you into a trauma bond to have empathy for someone harming you - it is a bitch to spot, heal from, and understand that these ppl are operating at a level of consciousness that does not include more than a surface ability or capacity to feel and be honest about or connect to and regulate emotions. They have an emotionally dis-ability.

This breaks people’s brains trying to make sense of their cognitive dissonance and even though science can explain it - it’s still wrong

And still they are responsible for how they cause harm and need to clean it up by changing their behavior.

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PSA

There’s a difference between a bad mood from time to time and a demeanor and “way of being” aka an inability to manage your energy and resource yourself so you shut down and make everyone adjust most of the time with out reassuring or taking ownership for when you are being dismissive and/or apologizing AND working to change the behavior.

Have you experienced this? Did you know it’s manipulation and abuse?

Are you guilty of it?

Are you changing your ways?

If so how?

Have you had to navigate it with others?

Were you able to express your needs and be heard?

Were you gaslit and shamed back into silence?

How did you or are you navigating that?

Did you know that compassion for emotionally abusive ppl can actually perpetuate the abuse if you do not also add accountability?

Are you in that cycle with yourself, others, your community?

In Buddhist philosophy it’s called #idiotscompassion

In psychology it’s called #traumabonding or #codependency

In astrology it’s called out of balance libra energy 😉

So much to inquire about when we are looking at relating to others.

Everything is a mirror meaning it can help us see ourselves but not in the way some spiritual ppl skew that phrase -

yes, it can be a reflection of how we relate to ourselves - but a reflection is just a point of awareness, it does not always mean we are what we see. Sometimes it is quite the opposite. There are many points to the view n the mirror.

The central point is to discern the meaning and come back to truth.

“Walk ourselves and each other home”.

I pray we become more mindful of all the ways we are entangled in these stories and do our part to unravel the suffering.

Cheers to anyone and everyone looking at these difficult and confusing scenarios.

May all beings awaken so we can really come to know the thing we call True Love and presence aka god.

Share your thoughts below and reach out if you want guidance in my 1:1 emotional alchemy and energy mastery all about healing feeling dealing and wholeness.