Grooming can look like:
Showing up and being of service in community so that when they mistreat ppl everyone says “oh but they do such good things” which is the exact tool used in the relationship dynamics too - to bypass the pain and the accountability bc they did a good thing but they actually need to clean up the previous mess and own how they created it instead of being let off the hook by future good behavior toward others.
One good deed doesn’t dismiss the bad.
It can look like reaching out to check on a fellow female stating and I quote “I’m here to support you, stand under you, not get you on your back” and now the woman is not sure if this person is actually supportive or creepy af - I mean after all they said the words “I’ll support you” right? But also followed it with a super gross immature way of giving you the ick so you question if you can trust them or not but go with the logic bc that intuition stuff is “crazy talk”.
It can look like helping one of my besties set up her furniture during his lunch hour and but anytime I asked for similar support I got the “I cant, I have to work”.
It can look like giving away my bike to a newcomer without my consent bc they needed it more than I did.
It can look like sponsoring a bunch of ppl but never giving the same time, effort or priority to the most significant relationship.
It can look like sending a thoughtful message to my family member but no contact with me bc he knows the debt that is due if/when he does.
All things make this person look like a stand up guy to the world so that if he gets exposed, the one who looks crazy is me.
Think of your favorite politician or con man.
That’s the vibe.
Comments