The Other Mother

“You’re baby hungry aren’t you“? She said again. “No I’m not, I’m really not“ I answered for the 2nd time.

“Do you not want kids?” she questioned.

“I don’t think s...” I started to answer as my other coworker abruptly interjected “why not, what could be more important than bringing gods children to this earth?“

I felt the fire spark in me as I answered fervently, “how about helping the ones that are already here.“ Feeling riled up, I walked off.

Ignited. Triggered. Surprised at my anger, I turned toward it to listen a little deeper, and I asked myself why I had it.

Some of it was connected to him, he was a bit abrasive, but that was only a symptom. Under that I saw what he represented; I saw old religious stories, patriarchy, women’s roles etc. I had a chance at traditional motherhood and I chose different, I wondered if maybe that was it. But even deeper than ALL that was the pure clear wisdom my catalyzed state was trying to offer me.

Anger, emotion, energy, it’s all apparent in those moments. When I can sit with them long enough for the mud to settle and the waters clear they become a parent. A source trying to show me clarity, nourish me and help me grow.

My passion.

When I could start to hear my anger with a curious and compassionate filter, I could hear the truth, what was important to me was trying to be pointed out through my anger, and because I was not certain, it was more reactive and loud.

Learn to listen to the whispers before they have to scream.

I’d been waiting tables since 2015,... continued in blog on main page

Before that tied up in drugs and drama of my significant others’, denying my wisdom for so many reasons (another conversation for another time). My inner fire was trying to get me to see or rather, confirm my path. By 2017 was finally starting on it but so unsure.

Until I listened to my trigger in that moment, sat WITH it, not blaming or projecting it on him or religion or patriarchy etc; I’d never heard truly what my passion and purpose on this earth was ... but it was so clear suddenly... it was simply and exactly what I’d said, to help the people that are already here.

To give them a ground of nourishment and support to help them learn how to do it within themselves. To add to or replace the parents they never had. To help them learn their own language for divine feminine and divine masculine energies within all of us.

To help them care for themselves. To guide them back to themselves. To recover their true nature.

Why is that any less important? Why is that any less of a “mother“ than anything else?

It’s not. And as I said I feel it’s EVEN more important. But THAT is my journey. I honor all of ours.

I’ve created many things, I am a mother to them all.

In January 2020 I stepped onto this path fully leaving behind the safety and shackles of that job.

The pandemic hit. I flinched. Then opened and saw it was again apparent, a parent;

Igniting me further.

Each piece of art I’ve created over the years, I never wanted to let it go, I joked that it was like they were my children. But truly they are. They are my creations. And, they are their own. I do not own them any more than we own our children.

I miss creating art in traditional forms like poetry dance music photography painting singing and so much more but still I continually create.

Today I weave art in an energetic form I called yoga and Emotional Alchemy. I give my energy in my work and to my clients, yogis, and meditators. I plant seeds in them and I help them nourish cultivate and grow.

I am not sad that I’m not a traditional mother, I do love children, sometimes I wonder if could do what I do AND be that other mother, maybe, I don’t wanna sell myself short, but I’m content right here. (And truthfully I look at any mom/person raising their kid(s) and it’s like how tho?)

I am in deep awe of mothers who raise them especially while caring and creating in so many other ways. You are miraculous. I bow deeply to you all.

I am still a mother. And so are you.

What are you caring for today? creating today?

Those are your “children” your creations.

The thoughts to habits. The emotions. The actions.

This is your life, it is not at the end or the beginning it is right now. So in this moment what is your thought? What is your action? What is your word? What is your deed? What is your habit? This is your life. Do you like it? If not, how will you begin to re-create it?

Happiest Mother’s Day to all forms of nourishing creative energy. To ones here, the ones past, and to all present. You are the gift in infinite forms. Thank you.

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone loving, celebrating or grieving any kind of mother today.

Happy Mother’s Day to the mother energies in us all.

pic: Tbt post ballet in 2017 with my many nieces. Thank you to my mother for birthing my sisters (bros) who gave me such gifts so I might become their fave aunt 😉🥲🎶 giving me more energies to love on.

And mostly happy momma’s day to you all! You’ve raised such beautiful things and I honor you immensely.