"They will call you ""crazy"" because you are, because you were born with the gift of seeing things differently and that scares them."
They're going to call you "intense" because you are, because you were born with the value well placed to allow yourself to feel it all fully and that intimidates them.
They're going to call you "selfish" because that's right, because you found out that you're the most important thing in your life and that doesn't suit them.
You're going to be called in many ways, with many judgments, for a long time, but stay firm on yourself and what you want, and I promise you one day they re going to call you to say,
"thank you for existing."
My sister in law sent me this song earlier this year or maybe even last… I don’t remember… it’s been a chaotic grief journey and it’s not that I’d never heard the song, it was what was meant and felt by her sending it.
It meant “I see you, you didn’t deserve that, and fck him you can do better” but she didn’t have to say that and she probably knew I would be resisting the words bc I “knew” they were the right words and never doubted my worth
But still
I was torn apart and grieving and she had enough awareness and emotional intelligence to know what’s good in grief and what adds more of it.
Happy to say today it felt apropos and in an embodied way; beyond a mental knowing; a felt sense; and I’m so grateful 🥹
For all of it - every word I wrote above as well as the terrible journey and learning that grief and trauma demands of us.
The powerlessness and humility to shed another story and hope.
The courage to show up messy and disregulated and know destroy stigmas around emotions being bad when they actually just SOMETIMES show how securely attached we were and how much love we have and that’s ok, in fact good and definitely
that’s a normal part of regulation and healing even if everyone else thinks you’re doing it wrong or for the wrong reasons.
For show or bc you don’t know what else to do with your pain when you’re actually using it to guide others in real time with theirs.
To close doors and actually be brave enough for the first time in my life to burn bridges and be devasted by the reality of those fires and be ok with it bc that was “the assignment”.
To integrate a few more scary parts and shadows like #hate and being hated and feeling the inner #peacemaker in me be mortified and the #perfectionist set aside and see the usefulness of #fire and #anger and even #destruction #rockingtheboat #stirringthepot and #breakingcycles I’d been in that perpetuated not only the #codependency and #abusecycle I found myself in again and slowly worked my way out of only to be discarded once I did
And
Let it burn every bit of old toxicity that wasn’t aligned with my values or the actual truth out of me and feel lost and uncertain and like death’s doormat
And
Be ok with it.
Normalizing and not adding unnecessary shame or blame (yes even #shame and #blame has its uses yall;)
Anywhoooo today this is the msg via the bad bitches Frida and Lizzo
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